Thy Will Be Done... Amen.

It's here. The week of my mountain escapades in the state of Colorado and the city of Vail is here! In fact, it's a day away and I cannot wait. It's a little mind-boggling to even myself that I am doing this but I can't help but feel it's something that I need to do. I went to go tell my good friend, Maria, about this little trip of mine and my first words to her were... "You're going to think I'm crazy but.." Of course, Maria had nothing spectacular to say, just that she thought it'd be a fun trip. Which it will be. At this point, I'm beyond excited. I'm going to Colorado to participate in a music festival that just so happens to house the summer job of an old friend, whom I have not seen or spoken to literally since the day he graduated. I'm hoping for the best yet expecting the worse.

In the meantime, I've managed to keep myself occupied with that little job I have in that dear old grocery store. I may have mentioned before how one of my employees was quitting. Well she's gone now. There she went and here I stayed. After seeing how she had the balls and the courage to leave a bad situation and find a different job, I keep asking myself what the heck is my problem? I've been at that place for 3 years now and I haven't been promoted to anything other than a cashier which isn't really a promotion to begin with. They must find me mentally slow at the store and I very well may be. Why do I say that? I heard from one of my co-workers own mouth. They though my friend who quit, Elise, was slow so they must feel the same way about me. And suddenly... it all makes sense!

Of course, I don't have the balls to find another job in order to quit this one. I've never been a quitter. I don't quit anything, I always finish out what I start and I suppose that mentality is sticking with me when it comes to this job. If only it were that way when it came to school. I've been praying (or at lease trying to) like crazy about this situation with school. Yet, I feel like I'm digging myself a deeper hole every time I go to open my mouth about anything regarding it. I should just keep my mouth shut, and keep all of these feelings and these problems locked away.

As of now, My grandma is still the only person in this family who knows about school. Though I feel as though others are beginning to fish around. Me? I don't want to lie yet I don't want to kid them or myself. Keeping my mouth shut thus far has done more damage than it has helped. I suppose now it's just completely out of my hands. I'll continuing praying as well as soliciting others prayers. This trip of mine has been a great distraction the past couple of weeks and now that it's really happening, I'm sooooo excited. I only fear having to come back to this harsh reality that is my life.