Time for Time

I'm literally 3 weeks [or something like it] from having finished my freshman year of college. WOW... I can hardly believe it myself. They say making that transition high school to college is especially difficult because of all the changes. I found it particularly hard just because there wasn't as much for me to change then for some others. I think it's harder to change when there are only some things you have to actually change instead just changing everything. However, I was able to do so. This year alone was full of surprises and adventures, but it was also chuck full of some not so fun times. Every little bit of it has had an impact on my life [mas o meno].

Probably now, more than ever, I'm really starting figure out what I want to do with this stipend of time we call LIFE {my life, specifically}. Two facts remain prevalent...

1. I want to be a doctor

2. Giving up music to achieve #1 is NOT an option.

I struggled with trying to decide a major based on those two facts when I first got here, and not much has changed. I told a friend earlier in the year that I felt as though I didn't have a plan for the next 4 years of college, that I was just going with the flow of things. Throughout the year, I've had moments where I thought to myself, "YES! This is it. This is what I want to do with my life!" I'd have a great concert with the Notre Dame Symphony Orchestra or I'd get a rush dissecting a rat, and I'd exhale that sigh of relief, or what I thought was a sigh of relief. It wasn't-- All it was, was confirmation that I have a passion for music and for cutting things open to work from the inside out.

Am I upset that I'll be leaving my freshman with zero answers as to what to do with this ODD combination of interests I've developed over the years? I'm not sure if I can answer that quite yet. Looking out my window, I see that spring is FINALLY here after, what seemed to be, the winter that would never end. It was a long, cold, snowy winter, despite a brief break from it in early January. Even it took a while, winter eventually ended. You know the saying, "Time heals all wounds?" Well I'm going to go with a similar saying, "time answers all questions." That's all any of us really want is time. Time to think. Time to know. Time to understand. Time to discover.

I know that God would not have blessed me with these interests without a purpose. So I'll bide my time. However, in the MEANTIME, I can only wait. Like I said before, I feel as though I have no plan, as if I'm just going with the flow and seeing what happens. I suppose my friend was right when he answered my question saying, "Sometimes all you can do is 'go with the flow.'