Changed Heart

In six days exactly, I will be starting the school as a freshman at St. Marys College. My major as of now is Biology simply so I can go on to medical school. My minor however is my true passion, which is music. Seems a little backwards, doesn't it. The thought has been rolling in my head all summer that I want to switch majors but at the same time I haven't given up my dream of being a doctor. Then I ask myself why can't I have both. So I purposed in my mind that I was going to major in music and minor in biology or chemistry--preferrably chemistry. That way I would be able to get my Bachelors Degree in Music and still get my science requirements that I need in order to go to medical school. However now, that doesnt even seem like enough. It doesnt fulfill me for some reason.

I have a friend who is also a musician. He's a cellist actually. He is about to be a sophomore at a music conservatory in Kansas City, Missouri. He tells me all of these great stuff that gets to experience while being there and all of the stuff he gets to do and my eyes literally widen with interest when he talks about it. It makes me realize that what I really want to do is attend a music conservatory, or not even a conservatory, but a school with a strong music program in which I can major in performance or even education. It would seem like I've made up mind, yet I still have not conpletely yet go of the idea of being Dr. Jessica Carter.

I read a book by Erich Segal. It was called ONLY LOVE and when I read it, I couldn't put it down. It was practically my life story. The main character Matthew was an aspired pianist. He loved music with all of his might and when in college he faced the same decision I am facing now. Choosing bewteen music and medicine. He chose medicine and excelled in which, but he never forgot music. It was his craft and art. It was apart of who he was. For him, keeping to his musical roots while achieving his medical goals was enough. However, for me it definitely is not. I understand why I would have to give up music to become a doctor. Both are so time consuming and require so much attention. I wish I could have both, til this day I did. Or atlease I thought I did. I never knew it but the musically aspect of my life was always lacking.

My sister always tells me that end up witha stroke at 21 years old from trying to take on the world and do everything. I don't if that is true [I surely hope it isn't]. One thing that is clear to me, I've had a change of heart in what I want to do with my life. Yes, it is still my desire to be a doctor and I will make it happen. However, giving up music to make it happen is not an option. However, giving up music to make it happen is not an option.